Assistance
by icequeenkitty
Summary: The Captain of the Knights of Pluto finds he needs some assistance in an area in which he is unfamiliar.  He just wishes he could think of someone else to help him with this delicate matter.  Post game BeatrixXSteiner


**Assistance**

He paced nervously in front of the big wooden door with etched little swirly bits on it. He paused his preoccupied gait to frown at the design. It was a bit too whimsical for his tastes. He scratched his jar shaped chin absently, what was he doing questioning the elaborate patterns of doors? He took a deep breath and straightened himself up. When his armor shifted with even the smallest movement there was a terrible scrape, but he had learned to block that out years ago. As he lifted his hand to knock on the door it quickly opened. He froze with his fist in pre-knock position as the short blonde genome leaned against the door with a smile.

"Working on a new salute Rusty?" Grinned the cad with a flick of his long tail.

He twisted his face into a scowl and lowered his hand. "Hardly."

"Well, what do you want? I was just gunna ask you to stop clanking around outside my room. You're giving me a headache."

"I-" He grunted difficulty, Zidane eyed him with a smirk, the little monkey loved to get under his skin. "I was hoping to have a word with you Zidane."

"Shouldn't you be calling me… I dunno, like 'my lord' or something?"

"… Lord Zidane, would you allow me a moment of your time?"

"Sure thing Sir Rusts-a-lot, but make it quick okay, Dagger's expecting me." Zidane moved back into the large room that the Queen had given him upon his return to Alexandria. Steiner reluctantly followed, closing the door firmly. "So, what's up?" Zidane plucked an apple from a bowl and took a rather uncouthly big bite.

"Many things are up. The sky, clouds, birds, the castle towers…" He responded admonishingly which caused his company to roll his eyes. "If you are to be her majesty's companion you must learn the proper way of speaking… 'my lord'." He explained.

"Did you come here to give me my etiquette lesson? Because you really shouldn't wear holes in the carpets pacing over the way I talk." Zidane grumbled.

"Well… no." Steiner grimaced lightly and against his hopes the action would go unnoticed, Zidane blinked at him curiously. "I-I am afraid I have to ask your assistance on a rather delicate matter."

"Delicate?" Zidane repeated carefully until his face split in a devious knowing smile. "Does this matter have curly brown hair and one knock out figure?"

He felt his face flush red and his anger rise to a thunderous din in his chest.

"How dare you speak of the General in such a fashion!"

"So it is about her!" Zidane grinned wider still, his blue eyes twinkling connivingly. "What are you having trouble handling her? Did she hit you with her sword when you were going in for the kill?"

"What kind of fiend do you take me for! I never attempted to kill my fair lady!" He shrieked in outrage.

Zidane blinked and shook his head with a chuckle.

"I didn't mean you were really trying to kill her… it's just a phrase."

"A phrase indeed. I shall have you know Beatrix and I keep our sparring to the training fields." He informed him sternly and crossed his arms with a choir of clanks.

"Forget it Steiner…" The blond rolled his eyes. "Okay, so what's the deal? Did you say something off color and it got under her skin?" Zidane paused and scanned him before he waved dismissively. "Who am I kidding, you probably haven't even held her hand without asking."

"Of course I haven't! I would never force myself upon a woman!" Steiner breathed in shock.

Zidane covered his mouth in vain to try hide his laughter, in response he was scowled at.

"Oh Rusty… what am I going to do with you?" He laughed. "Have you ever even been intimate with a woman before?"

"Well I must certainly have. Not that it's any of your business." He huffed defensively.

Zidane hopped up to sit on the elegant looking table, the bowl of fruit wobbling precariously at the feat. He blinked at the armored Captain less than convinced.

"Right, so what I mean by 'intimate' and what you think…. I'm pretty sure are two entirely different things. Would you mind telling me about this 'lucky' girl?"

Steiner let his arms fall thoughtfully to his sides as he looked off into the landscape depicted in oil paint that hung on the wall beside him.

"Well, she was a lovely young lady… and I was but a child myself when I met her. She was the blacksmith's daughter and her hair was as dark as the midnight sky. She had a smile that could heat the coals in any man's heart, of that I am certain."

"Sounds like a pretty hot dish there, maybe I know her."

Steiner slid his eyes onto his companion warningly.

"I doubt that."

"Sorry, sorry." He put up his hands with a light shake of his head. "So, you two were pretty sweet on each other huh?"

"Oh, yes. We would meet for romantic walks through the heather that used to grow along the waterfall… many nights she would meet me there and we would gaze at the stars for hours."

"You dog." Zidane smirked, which prompted Steiner to blink. "You did the dirty in nature? I never pegged you as the type…"

Steiner frowned at him. "We were both rather clean I beg your pardon. I may have gotten a bit of dirt on my boots but I was far from dirty if you please."

"You didn't even try to have a go at her did you?" Zidane sighed.

"Not that it's any of your concern but we went so far as to touch fingertips on more than one occasion."

Zidane laughed again and the glare from the serious knight did little to inhibit his hysterics.

"Rusty, Rusty, you're too much!" He wiped the tears off his face. "Let me guess, this girl got aggravated and stopped talking to you?"

"And if she did?"

"Okay. I'm going to let you in on a little secret…" Zidane waved him closer, and reluctantly he complied. In an exaggerated whisper the blue eyed genome spoke to him again. "She wanted you to put the moves on her."

"The moves? Is that more of your gutter talk?"

"Steiner, listen. Girls… they may pretend they don't want you to flirt with them, or kiss their hands… or their mouths… but they really do."

The knight gasped as if he'd just heard the most foul obscenity ever concocted.

"What a terrible thing to…"

"She got mad because all you did was talk. Trust me. Hey you know I know my way around the ladies, that's why you came here right?"

"I must have been mistaken!" Steiner said sternly as he stepped backwards as if he'd be infected by this way of thinking if he kept in close proximity to the boy or his tail.

"Okay. I'm going to help you out." Zidane hopped off the table. "We're going to practice what you have to do when you like a girl."

Steiner froze and gave the short blond a fierce glare. Zidane let out a growling sigh.

"Not you and me you sicko!" He grabbed the knight's forearm and dragged him toward the door. "There's only one girl I know who can make you understand…"

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"Now, what are you doin' darlin'?"

"I… I am averting my eyes Ms. Ruby."

The small theater was suddenly pierced with an impatient sigh.

"Honey, if ah didn' want ya ta look ah wouldn'a dun it." The curvaceous brunette let the blue skirt she had hiked up over her knee fall back into place. She sent a wary look at Zidane who was taking in the scene from the back of the room with a big grin on his face. She shook her head and looked back to the blushing wall of steel that still was making eye contact with the ceiling beams. "I ain't up there darlin'."

"Are you decent?"

She put her hand on her hip with disbelief.

"Sweetie, if ah wasn't decent ah'd be gettin' a lot more business than one thousand Gil a week." She saw the knight's face twist in confusion. "Yeah ah'm decent!"

"You should give a gentleman warning when you expose yourself like that…" The strong face finally turned down to look her in the eye.

"Okay, next time ah won't pull a fast one on ya." She sighed. "Now, darlin' ah think we ain't gunna get anywhere until ah understand just what's goin' on. Why don't we take a seat an' you can tell me all about it." She pulled out a chair from a nearby table and before she could sit he was behind her ready to push the chair in for her. She eyed him, then gave into the chivalry… some girls liked that sort of thing anyway. After she was secure at her position at the table he sat across from her stiffly. "Now, you an' yer filly are havin' some problems darlin'?"

"Yes, well… no. I am uncertain." The knight fumbled.

"Well, why don' ya tell me what's wrong instead a makin' me do all th' hard work." She sat back irritably.

"Well, you see… the other evening the General asked me to accompany her to the east tower. When I inquired if there was a disturbance she informed me there wasn't." He took off his helmet distractedly and ran his fingers along the tall plume that adorned the plated hat. Ruby took him in sadly, he was like a child when it came to the most natural things. She didn't understand him, but her heart went out to him all the same. "And when I arrived she well… "

"Did she kiss ya?"

"Good heavens no!" He breathed in shock. "No… but… I believe she expected something of me. Do you perhaps think that she may have… " He swallowed painfully. "…wanted me too?"

Ruby heard Zidane stifle his laughter and she bit back her own. He really was like a child… it was kind of sweet… though it must have been frustrating to the poor one eyed girl. She leaned forward and put her hand on one of his comfortingly.

"Ah think that's a safe guess sugar." Steiner's eyes searched her face desperately until they fell to the table deep thought lining his features. "Didn't ya want to kiss her?"

"…well, it wouldn't have been proper."

"If she wanted ya to than it would have been, an' can ah take that as a 'yea I wanted ta kiss her somethin' fierce Ms. Ruby'?"

"Take it as you will, the desire was there." He said in a whisper as if trying his best to hide the conversation from the giggling genome in the corner. She send a hard glare at Zidane, he wasn't helping.

"Well, that's good darlin' ya shoulda done it. When a girl wants ya to kiss her there's nothing wrong with it."

"How do I know when it would be acceptable?" He asked her, his eyes boring into hers for answers.

"Honey," She breathed with a shake of her head. "Ya mean to tell me you ain't noticed that look? " She watched his sturdy features screw themselves up in thought. "Oh brother… Adely darlin', there will be a way she looks at ya, that should make yer stomach curl inta knots. A kinda sweet an' playful look… that's tha one ya gotta go after. Don't ya ever feel that?"

"Well… it's hard to pinpoint what look exactly…"

"On account a' her one eye?" Ruby ventured.

"No, of course not." He responded harshly but sighed apologetically. "No… it's just that every time I see her my innards feel like a writhing mass of cactuars have invaded."

She winced a little. "Honey we gotta work on yer sweet talk. But it's okay, that means ya really like her."

"Oh, no Ms. Ruby." He locked eyes with her. "I am extraordinarily fond of her I have never felt this way before. Even the smallest movement of her hair can ravage my senses. I daresay, I firmly believe I love this woman."

Ruby couldn't hold back the smile that kind of talk brought her.

"Well then, ah think it's time ya showed her." She nodded encouragingly.

"W-with flowers?" He asked timidly.

She shook her head with a wink. "Ah think it's time ya stop bein' so shy Adlebert Steiner. Ya just gotta kiss the girl already."

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It was nearly noon when she had gotten tired of waiting for him. Beatrix offered to go see what was holding Zidane up, but this was a job she felt she was suited for perfectly. Garnet strode through the castle her gown shifting around as her pace, the sound of the fabric echoing off the walls like a gentle flowing river. Beatrix had opted to accompany her, she was certain she wasn't going to encounter any beasts that needed her General's slaying… but she couldn't help but think the woman didn't want to be alone so she allowed it. As they moved through corridors she could see the door to Zidane's room was open. She frowned slightly and continued down the hall with a dainty trot.

"Zidane?" Her voice bounced around the empty room as she entered it. She glanced around put out. "He's not here." She turned to Beatrix who glanced around idly.

"So it would seem." She agreed.

"But he knew I wanted to have lunch with him before I met with the representatives from Cleyra. He couldn't have forgotten." She picked up the half eaten apple with two fingers with a scowl. "Or maybe he did."

"Your Highness, would you like me to have my soldiers search the castle for him?"

"No need!" Announced a happy voice from down the hall.

Garnet let the apple fall back onto the table as Zidane strode down the hall toward them. She smiled and wiped the fingers, wet with fruit's juice, on her dress absentmindedly.

"Zidane where have you been?" She asked him as he strutted over to her grinning.

"Oh Rusty and I went for a little walk." He turned and waved to Steiner who had stopped half way down the hall.

"You… and Steiner?" Beatrix asked him suspiciously.

Zidane just beamed at her. Garnet blinked at him, then the knight who had slowly started approaching, and then the stern faced General. She caught a mischievous sideways glance from the blue eyes she loved and felt a smile creep over her face. She linked her arm with his and turned to address her caretakers.

"Well, my friends seeing as how I have found my elusive lunch date I think I am in rather good hands. Beatrix, Steiner." They each saluted her in response to their names. "I do not require your watch at this time, and I hereby order you to enjoy a meal together yourselves."

Beatrix's brow knotted in confusion and Steiner looked as if he had swallowed a bucket of oglops.

"Your Majesty…?" Beatrix's voice rose in curiosity.

"Yes, your Highness." Steiner interjected dutifully. Which earned him a puzzled blink from the usually collected General.

As Zidane led her out of the room she smiled at Steiner who avoided her eyes as a blush fought to redden his face. The moment they were out of ear shot she turned to the man on her arm.

"What did you tell him?" She hissed, a bit more concerned than she would admit.

"Well, I didn't do most of the talking, Ruby gave him some pointers." He winked.

She laughed gently. "Oh my, I can only imagine the reaction poor Steiner had to that."

There was a sudden racket from behind them and they both turned, stunned to see Steiner coming up behind them. The red blotch on his face didn't escape Garnet's eyes, neither did the sheepish grin he wore.

"What happened?" She gasped.

"Did you kiss her?" Zidane asked stunned.

The knight cleared his throat.

"It appears… that kind of behavior is acceptable only when we are not on duty." He informed them bashfully as he continued on past them.

"So!" Called Zidane after him. "I'll be sure to see that no one comes near the east tower tonight?"

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Final Fantasy IX and all related characters are © Square-Enix

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Well this is my first FFIX fic, I'm sure stories like this have popped up before so pardon my redundancy. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it.


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